Your Best Is Yet To Come

Repair Your Heart

Why You Feel Real Grief After Escaping A Toxic Narcissistic Relationship

If the narcissistic relationship was so destructive, why in the world would we feel a sense of loss afterward?

It’s generally understood from researchers that when we have a big loss in life we’ll walk through a 5 stage process before we come to grips with the loss and feel  we’re moving on.

Those stages are commonly known as:






Even though ending a long term and meaningful narcissistic relationship may be absolutely necessary for your sanity,
safety, and quality of life, there’s also a sense of
deep loss that needs to be grieved.

Annette chesney

It can get complicated though because so much anger, pain, and emotional abuse (perhaps even physical abuse) was involved, so there’s significant additional twists and turns in the grieving process.

Having walked through this myself and after coaching so many others who have experienced it, I developed a modified framework of grieving to help people understand what’s “normal” and what’s not when moving through the process.

Here’s a snapshot of the 5 Stages:

STAGE 1 – Shock & Dissonance

STAGE 2 – Truth-Seeking & Outrage

STAGE 3 – Depression & Anxiety

STAGE 4 – Healing & Affirmation

STAGE 5: – New Purpose & Beautiful Life

The goal is to grieve well so what you went through becomes a point of reference rather than enslavement. The outcome is that you’ll emerge on the other side stronger, wiser, and even better than before.

“Grieving well” is not…

…Stuffing, dodging, minimizing, and avoid the emotional fallout

…Stoically trying to hold it all together (“No really, I’m fine”)

…Self-medicating and anesthetizing with substances, distractions, and activities

…Harboring fantasies of payback

… Filling the void with a new relationship

The mental and emotional fallout of a narcissistic relationship from the past doesn’t just evaporate.  It changes you in not so great ways unless you’re deliberate about a healing process.

I’ve worked with women who escaped the narcissistic relationship 3 years, 5 years, 10 years prior, yet are still noticeably haunted by the echoes of it.

You can’t outrun and outwork it.  

You have to choose to turn and face it to find your freedom.

Are you ready to become better than ever before?
I can help. Let’s chat.